It was a beautiful night, the stars were out, and it was
calm, just beautiful. And it was around midnight, and I got up and I prayed.
And I sat down, sat there for a while, and then all of a sudden I had these
like flashbacks, of Sand Creek, Wounded Knee. And every policy, every law that
was imposed on us by the government and the churches hit me one at a time. One
at a time. And how it affected my life.
And as I sat there I got angrier and angrier, until it
turned to hatred. And I looked at the whole situation, the whole picture, and
there was nothing I could do. It was too much. The only thing I could do was,
when I come off that hill, I'm going to grab a gun and I'm going to start
shooting. And go that way. Maybe then my grandfathers will honor me, if I go
that route.
I got up, and I came around, and I faced the east, and it
was beautiful, I mean, it was dawn, light, enough light to see the rolling
hills out there, and right above that blue light in that darkness was the
sliver of the moon and the morning star. And I wanted to live. I want to live,
I want to be happy. I feel I deserve that. But the only way that I was going to
do that was if I forgive. And I cried that morning, because I had to forgive.
Albert White Hat
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