Natural.

Ari Weinzweig on leadership, life, and an acceptance of aloneness ...

If we’re ultimately alone in the world, but we’re not trained in how to manage that aloneness, then we are inevitably headed for trouble. Is it worth investing so much in so many people? I stand with May Sarton when she writes, “We have to believe that every person counts, counts as a creative force that can move mountains.”

In all of this, I’m realizing that accepting and managing our aloneness is very much akin to comparable work we’re all confronted with around anxiety. Unmanaged or misunderstood, anxiety leads to inappropriate expressions of anger, apathy, addiction, and acting out. (Or, for all I know, an excessive affinity for alliteration.) It's only when we can make peace with the fact that anxiety is normal—an element of existence—that we can learn to lead effectively. As Peter Block’s friend, teacher, and co-author, Peter Koestenbaum says,

When anxiety is denied, our nature is denied. … As a result, the price we pay for the denial of existential anxiety is severe. The dominant consequence is to restrict our life.

…

Existential anxiety is healthy and is the natural condition of the person when in a state of self-disclosure.

The same is true with aloneness. Accepting it as painful at times, but still a normal part of who we are, makes it far less problematic. Instead of acting out, we can learn to live and lead more effectively.

Ari on the power of solitude ...

Solitude, once we settle into it, is a wonderful thing. It creates spiritual sustenance. It gives us much needed time to reflect. It’s our opportunity for long ignored thoughts and feelings to emerge. It’s a chance to quietly acknowledge fears that linger below the surface, unacknowledged, that weaken our emotional foundations.  Reflective, thoughtful time on our own can surface hopes and dreams of a better future, support intuition, and encourage us to expand our emotional horizons.