It may be possible for each to think too much of his own
potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or
too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burden of my
neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only
humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken.
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods
and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can
talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be
strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now
meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree
helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in light of
these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection
proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all
friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people.
You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, and
civilizations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a
gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and
exploit.
The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was
located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came
through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty,
the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if
they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the
hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only
the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard,
news from a country we have never yet visited.
Ah, but we want so much more— something the books on
aesthetics take little notice of. But the poets and the mythologies
know all about it. We do not want merely to see beauty, though,
God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can
hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass
into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part
of it. That is why we have peopled air and earth and water with gods
and goddesses and nymphs and elves—that, though we cannot, yet these
projections can, enjoy in themselves that beauty, grace, and power of
which Nature is the image. That is why the poets tell us such
lovely falsehoods.
In speaking of this desire for our own far off country,
which we find in ourselves even now, I feel a certain shyness. I am almost
committing an indecency. I am trying to rip open the inconsolable secret in
each one of you—the secret which hurts so much that you take your revenge on it
by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence; the secret
also which pierces with such sweetness that when, in very intimate
conversation, the mention of it becomes imminent, we grow awkward and affect to
laugh at ourselves; the secret we cannot hide and cannot tell, though we desire
to do both. We cannot tell it because it is a desire for something that has
never actually appeared in our experience. We cannot hide it because our
experience is constantly suggesting it, and we betray ourselves like lovers at
the mention of a name. Our commonest expedient is to call it beauty and behave
as if that had settled the matter. Wordsworth’s expedient was to identify it
with certain moments in his own past. But all this is a cheat. If Wordsworth
had gone back to those moments in the past, he would not have found the thing
itself, but only the reminder of it; what he remembered would turn out to be
itself a remembering. The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was
located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came
through them, and what came through them was longing. These things — the beauty,
the memory of our own past — are good images of what we really desire; but if
they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the
hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only
the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard,
news from a country we have never yet visited.
Do you think I am trying to weave a spell? Perhaps I am; but
remember your fairy tales. Spells are used for breaking enchantments as well as
for inducing them. And you and I have need of the strongest spell that can be
found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness which has been laid
upon us for nearly a hundred years. Almost our whole education has been
directed to silencing this shy, persistent, inner voice; almost all our modem
philosophies have been devised to convince us that the good of man is to be
found on this earth.
C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
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