One wonders, doesn’t one, why historically we are
insufficiently wily in foreign affairs. Without question it is because we
do not eat vividly. We are always euchred out by people with superior
diets with more interesting food, technically speaking of course.
Mitterrand made mincemeat of Reagan in Europe mostly because of the superior
foods he eats. Let’s face it, Mitterrand drink superior Bordeaux, Burgundy,
eats garlic, truffles, goose livers, various forms of tripe, sweetbreads,
intestines, jellied calves feet for midnight snacks.
By contrast, Reagan’s diet is nightmarish, though it stops
short of the ketchup and cottage cheese trip that Nixon had – which wasn’t as
bad as some people say it was, it’s just not something you want to eat more
than once in your life. Reagan was into a diet of bran flakes, very lean dryish
turkey breasts, probably no garlic whatsoever, lean fish. . . just thinking
about it makes me wonder what William Buckley eats? I understand his wife
is a famous hostess. William Buckley shows signs of eating far too many
club sandwiches. Anyone who can eat a quarter of a club sandwich without
expiring from torpor is beyond me. Buckley no doubt has a food perversion, a
food that perhaps his wife doesn’t even know about. Something like Franco
American on toast or Kraft instant Macaroni and Cheese. My daughter likes
the latter and I’ve tasted it, and it’s proper for a 14-year-old girl.
Maybe Buckley secretly cheats because most of his philosophical viewpoints are
formed by his efforts to justify being rich. Who cares if he’s
rich? If you want a philosophical justification of it you can’t pull this
white Christian trip because you’ll never find a man in the history of mankind
who was less impressed by moolah than Jesus.
What is a diet of vividness but to live vividly, to see
vividly, to write vividly, to make love vividly, or as the French say it, “To
fricadelle”, which is a new French hip term. I’m making the presumption that
you want to live vividly. Everyone knows that D.H. Lawrence said that the
only aristocracy is that of consciousness. Rather than schlep through
life on this Reagan diet, eat vividly.
We start at base with garlic. Without garlic, forget
it. Garlic should be bought in odd numbers. You should get one pound,
three pounds, five pounds, seven pounds of garlic. Roast these heads like
they do at Mustard’s famous restaurant near Yountsville, CA. Use a little
olive oil, fresh rosemary, thyme, beef stock. You cut the top off
the garlic, a little flat spot on the top so you can baste it. Eat
several heads, I have on numerous occasions. Just squish them out or go
at them with an oyster fork. Drink a pint mug of Cabernet with this,
anything less is cowardly and won’t be vivid. Nowhere in the United
States that I have traveled have I seen people that live more vividly than in
Cajun country. Of course much is being made of this diet but essentially
what you get in NYC is a very watered down variety except for
Texarkana and the great chef Abe de la Houssaye. Down there
they’re not afraid of your basic hot peppers. Go over to Nogales, it’s the same
thing. The best menudo in the country can be gotten across from the Historical
Museum in Nogales. They serve these wild little chilies. There are
wild Senoran chilies on the side, freshly chopped cilantro and there are nice
fatty morsels of calves feet in there with tripe. It’s just
splendid. Myself and the grizzly expert, Douglas Peacock, go there.
Of late I’ve been following this How To Eat Vividly
Diet because I don’t want to die. It’s called Eat To Win, by
Doctor Bob Haas. Of course the question is win what? Now I
don’t recommend this as a vivid diet but the principles are correct to reduce
the amount of fat in your diet, simple carbs and going for complex carbs and
protein. Get the sludge out of your veins. The recipes in the book,
I’ve been meaning to write Dr. Bob, who known henceforth as Bob, a comforting
name. Bob being the most popular name in the United States.
Naturally there are some good Bobs and some bad Bobs, but most indifferent
Bobs, not to speak of the old fashioned Be-Bob-a-a-ree-Bobs. I’ve been
thinking of writing Bob about improving this diet because there are too many
recipes in there that are torpid.
The best salt substitute that’s adequate are plenty of hot
peppers. My grizzly man sent me a care package from Arizona of about 30
different kinds of ground and whole chilies. Other than the fact that the
place is hot and stupid, why doesn’t one live in Arizona where all these chilies
are available? I didn’t know. I just loved it “here” and it never
occurred to me to move down there until years later when I realized my soul was
drawn towards the Apache and Hopi and Navajo. I watched the sacred Yaqui
Deer Dance and had some snacks at this Yaqui Festival. Let me tell you
these Indians aren’t afraid of a little hot pepper. They adore them, they
hang wreaths, strings and medallions of peppers all over there little adobe
huts. I’ve made wild rabbit tacos with plenty of hot peppers. You
could actually make a giant burrito with a whole squirrel but I don’t really
care for squirrel. It reminds me of a really extravagantly premature
baby. Some of the key to this diet that I might eventually publish along
with a Frenchman and a Montana painter on a cookbook which is to be
called Sporting Food. It’s the kind of food that Balzac would eat
without getting pissed off. It’s not boring food. How am I going to
stop such foods from killing me? Well I learned a secret in Brazil, and
this secret had nothing to do with the extraordinarily cheap pharmaceuticals
there. That threw me off my feet for awhile, those softball sized sacks
did nobody any good. As it’s known locally, that kind of snort is known
as “bone-be-gone.” If you want to turn your pecker cold as stone just
keep it up, boys, keep it up.
Down in Brazil I was at a churrascura and their
beef down there is grass fed so it’s not full of fat, like ours. You’d
see vast tonnages of meat roasting on wood fires and they would hack you off
what you want. They would wheel it around on carts that took several
peasants to push. Along with these meats there were extraordinarily hot
salsas. My favorite cut of meat was a little fatty. It was the hump of Zebu
cattle, it’s about the texture of a brisket but much more delicious. I
discovered the Black Pope Tankard reconfirmed my feeling about the word
seven. If I’m stir frying a little pork loin and fresh asparagus I have a
tendency to put seven hot peppers and seven cloves of garlic in it. It
just makes it a much more vivid little dish.
Another vivid food that is much maligned in our country, the
most nutritionally sound meal, is black beans and rice. (It’s a given you
can eat a salad with it) or you can make pinto beans and rice. Mexican kids,
the athletic kids are so much stronger than our junkfood puff balls that we are
breeding up here.
Beans and rice are vivid food. You can tell when you
go into Cuban bars in Florida or Mexican bars or by listening to my current
favorite rock group Los Lobos. That is beans and rice music. That
is incredible music of the streets. Some of the more odious seem to
prefer English rock. Give me a break! When England lost India and her
superior die she went downhill in a hand basket. You can eat well in
London of course but it is generally where there is Italian food.
I had a foreign visitor who started to get depressed at
being in New York a week with the expense account bungfodder that we eat in
Gotham, so I made him a simple dish of fresh pasta with a sauce made out of
cacciatore of rabbit and pheasant and sausage. His energy was immediately
restored. The repellent fact of life to anyone who likes to cook is that
the domestic duck is full of fat because they are raised on Long Island along
with other banalities and absurdities. That duck is appropriate for East
Hampton, South Hampton, Sag Harbor. Once you get interested in a vivid
diet, I don’t mean these kind of yuppie nightmare foods. Instead, get the
farmer down the road and con him into raising you some Muscovy ducks if you
don’t want to do it yourself. Muscovy duck is very lean, gorgeous duck
that I roast in just short of twenty-five minutes at a super heat in my forced
air oven. They hare delicious when their flesh is deep pink. Superb
duck. Buy Muscovy.
Many of you stickball queens would be a lot better off if
you put aside this stickball and bought yourself a shotgun and went into the
forst every fall and shot yourself some healthy, meaty fowl. Buy a
fishpole. Even as I am dictating this in my auto I am heading back to my hidden
cabon on the forest in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and my car is loaded
with fishing tackle. I even like the less desirable species Pike; I like
perch, lake Superior whitefish, lay trout, the small pinkish ones. There
is no industry within 150 miles of my cabin but there is some acid rain up here
, but of course Reagan refuses to do anything about it because he thinks of it
as some kind of a Grecian formula. Somebody told him acid rain keeps you
from growing gray hair.
When I started writing the dead food scrolls I didn’t know
where it would take me but I’m not able to eat meat as much as I used to. I
like it but it makes me mean and vindictive for some reason. If you look
deep into the eye of a rib eye steak you fully don’t realize it’s dead, but
just leave it out in the sun for a hot afternoon … then take a whiff.
Jim Harrison
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