Squidge.

FERGUS' SARDINES on TOAST

You've had a proper dinner, but sometimes you might feel peckish before heading for bed. I once worked in a kitchen with a splendid chap called Charles Campbell, who always made himself sardines on toast at the end of the night. This he took to bed with him and ate in the dark, which he insisted was an essential part of the experience. It's also the perfect moment for a bedtime cuppa ... except we are eating in the dark, so the likelihood of third-degree burns from spilled tea is high. A much safer companion would be a dram of malt whisky, with which, hopefully, the only singe you will feel will be internal. Sorry, we somehow got through the day without so much as a sip of tea passing our lips.

INGREDIENTS

• Good brown bread
• Butter
• 1 tin good-quality sardines in oil
• Lemon

PROCEDURE

1. Toast and butter the bread
2. Squidge the sardines on to the toast with a fork
3. Squeeze over the lemon
4. Devour.