Within.

Nhat Hanh, Listen Deeply, Undated

I closed my eyes, focused myself … and then surrendered.

At first there was rush of pain, as if the dam of my resistance finally broke—nothing left to hold back the emotion. In moments, the emotions leveled, and I became someone other than the sufferer. I became the spectator, the watcher—the witness of the pain, not the host in which it thrived.

My truth finally emerged: I was not my pain.

It was an eerie transition. This new identity emerged—one deplete of unconsciousness. Yet, I can honestly recall true non-resistance to this change. I never felt so much peace. But it can only occur if we surrender to the pain, of which our faith in presence can bring. The fight back makes the pain grow stronger, sometimes even convincing us it is us.

That is the gift of meditation, whether it’s labeled as prayer, self-discovery, or healing. It’s the idea that we can be free within ourselves, even when we are subject to repressive rules or regulations, of which I could only know by “escaping” the outside, and still being captive inside.

I could only break free by facing the silence.

CONNECT.